I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
