drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
