i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
