Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
