he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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