he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize