I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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