actually, I'm a sock model
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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