I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
