we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize