Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
