Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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