EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
