ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My balls are so social today.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
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I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
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He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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