I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
