OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have demons in me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
