I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
