Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
