Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
