i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize