She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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