He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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