just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
