she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
