Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
