summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
