omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize