Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
