Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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