East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
