its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The ass gains better be worth it
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