I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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