How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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