You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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