She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
