You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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