he puts the penis in happiness.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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