HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
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I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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