At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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