I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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