i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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