Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You don't make any sense
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