Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
