weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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