she was so not down for the gang bang
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
