its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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