batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
4 words: hood of his car
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
