we have officially lost it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
