drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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