worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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