I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Couch. On fire.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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