Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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