whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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